Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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