Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
