Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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