So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
