So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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