ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
