I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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