wakey wakey hands off snakey
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
