It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize