I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
