some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
