I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
