how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
