I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
