YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize