i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
