If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
