Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
