I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
