Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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