Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
