What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
