he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
