i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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