you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
