We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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