what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
