we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
