Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
