When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he's single and there are thong briefs.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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