Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
