I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
