I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
