So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
