Whod you bang
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What a dumb baby whore.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
