Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
