Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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