One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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