You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
