spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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