"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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