You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
