I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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