theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
