And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Drunk is not a location!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize