You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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