scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
