I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
