awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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