My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
