You're my little dorito
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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