gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
