Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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