if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
