I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
