So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
