its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
