I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
