Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
