This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
