when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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