We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
where does the pee come out of this thing
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
