I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
