This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
